

My food reviews are meant to be taken with a pinch of salt, because who in their right mind would comment on the stuff I eat, never mind care about it? But the idea alone amuses me. Cue the Rustlers Deluxe.
Everything about this burger is fake, and I mean everything. When you first peel off the label the you get a fairly noticeable woft of ass, followed by plastic. It’s what Barbie must smell at night after Ken eats toy curry.
Now even before this burger is heated it looks disappointing, I felt a lack of respect for myself for having paid for this, and I eat some low grade stuff. The lowly strip of Bacon dwarfed by the top bun made me giggle slightly, this is what makes it ‘deluxe’ after all. But in just over a minute its good to go, well, once you let it cool back down. And dry slightly as the moisture made by the burger makes the bun soggy. Now this is the fun part, putting on the burger sauce. It is incredible! Somehow they have managed to make every condiment including gurkin and onion into one! Reinforcing the fact that this thing is fake, concocted in a lab. I don’t think at any point from design to production has a chef of any sort been involved with this. Then again, why would they want to be?
Now I take a bite and my mouth floods with the eversauce, there is so much it oozes out at all directions and you realise why there is so much, if there wasn’t you would notice how un-deluxe the burger really is. The sauce is there to trick you into thinking you are actually eating a burger, all the flavorings combine to make a very believable substitute but when you think about what your eating you realise its all enhancements. The bun does not taste like bread, the burger does not taste of meat. But whatever additives have been used sure do. My advice? Eat a bowl of additives and flavorings, and chew your tongue if you need some texture.
But all that aside, I don’t think anyone would buy this as a quality product, you get what you pay for. And I only got this since it was half price. What does that yell you?













